Spice Up your Sex Life

Possibly the most common reason for visiting a sex coach, is to learn more about how to spice up you sex life.  

Long term relationships, in particular after having children, can become boring and sadly, arousal can die a slow death.

Tips to Spice Up your Sex Life

Here’s few tips to help you and your partner spice things up again. (Actually doing it is the next step …!)

  • Book a weekend away. If you have kids, take the time to find childcare. If you haven’t had a weekend away for a year or two – it’s been too long!
  • Buy some new lingerie or sexy clothing.  It’s surprising how many items in the bottom drawer no longer fit, or are no longer fun.
  • Take a trip to a store like Honey Birdette. They sell a lot more than underwear and if you are not accustomed to adult shops then this one isn’t that scary, and is found in many local shopping centres. Chocolate feather dusters, let you mind go crazy. Have fun!
  • Pregnant and wishing you could improve your lingerie options? Try hotmilk.
  • Try role playing. Book a hotel room and turn up in a fantasy role. Wear something unexpected and be someone unexpected. This can be inexpensive and quite fun. Important – Don’t be yourself!
  • Food can be closely related to sex and can help increase libido. Chat with your partner about what they like, and where and how you might use food creatively in many different ways.


  • Sexting your partner. WARNING – be very careful this doesn’t include images, and make sure you are actually sending it to your partner, and your partner alone! Don’t sext when drunk.
  • Reminisce about your favourite sex experience with your partner. Describe in details what you thought, felt, saw, smelt and touched. Often past memories can help to create new memories.
  • Make an appointment to see one of our therapists for a single session. If you are worried about something in your sex life, come and chat to us – that’s what we are here for. Most sexual issues require only a single appointment. If you know what’s wrong or right, then you can stop worrying!
  • Massage. Pick up a pictorial book on massage and learn to massage each other for stress relief. Often such books will have a page or two on erotic massage at the back. My suggestion is to practice your skills so you are both happier, healthier and closer.

Brisbane sex therapist

  • Aromatherapy. If you are into the sense and smell has a powerful effect on you then try to find the perfume, scented candles or massage oils with the most erotic effects. A little homework can make things much more fun.
  • Sex talk.  A little innuendo can go a long way! This can take boring household tasks and make them more interesting if you allude to them as being connected to sexual thoughts or fantasies. Dropping a little word in your partner’s ear at a choice moment when they don’t expect it, or alluring eyes can communicate desire and anticipation. These sort of things often disappear from long term relationships – it’s time to bring them back!

I hope this warms up your relationship and that you find an idea or two to help spark a closer and more intimate moment with your loved one! The trick is to do something about it and not just read it…

Vivian Jarrett psychologistAuthor: Vivian Jarrett, B Psych (Hons), MAPS, MAICD.

Vivian Jarrett is a Brisbane Psychologist with a special interest in providing relationship counselling and sex therapy for individuals and couples.

To make an appointment with Vivian try Online Booking – Loganholme or Online Booking – Mt Gravatt or call M1 Psychology (Loganholme) on (07) 3067 9129 or Vision Psychology (Mt Gravatt) on (07) 3088 5422.