My Husband Joined a Dating Site

It is a sad sign of our times – a rapid increase in the number of people, upset to discover their husband (or wife) has joined a dating website.

my husband joined an online dating site

With the advent of smart phones and increased access to the internet, it is becoming a much more common problem.

There are even websites and apps specifically aimed at married men and women, offering everything from anonymous flirty chats online, to more raunchy real life affairs.

Why Did My Husband Join a Dating Site?

Why would somebody already in a committed relationship, join a dating site?

In most cases, it starts out of curiosity or boredom. It is all too easy – after seeing an ad on TV or a web site, the individual begins turning over the possibilities in their mind: Maybe I’ll use a fake profile; or I’ll just see what’s out there; or What harm can a couple of emails do? 

But what starts out of idle curiosity, can all too quickly spiral out of control. It’s a bit like gambling, at first it is a bit of amusement, but then the individual gets sucked into the vortex, by the thrill and excitement of something new and dangerous.

In my experience with the many couples I have worked with in the counselling room, I’ve learned that dissatisfaction in the relationship is usually a key factor, when one of the partners has been involved on these websites. The dissatisfaction may be from the couple’s sex life, but just as likely it could be poor communication, or just overall unhappiness in the relationship.

It’s a Slippery Slope

One thing I have noticed, is that the majority of these people did not intentionally set out to cheat on their partners.

What starts off as curiosity slips very quickly into something that is later regretted. Of course, there are also those looking for casual sex, but these types often use other more direct ways of finding another party.

Unfortunately these websites are creating to be enticing – they are after your money, and make it as easy as possible for visitors to sign up and get involved. They do not think or care about you or your partner’s existing relationship.

If you or your partner has joined an online dating site, or had an online affair, relationship counselling can help you to recover from the pain and mistrust created. The safe space of a counselling office, is the best place for you both to work through the affair and to process the hurt, guilt and pain that results.

You will also be able to address any underlying issues in your relationship, so that not only does this not occur again, but you will create a better, stronger relationship in the long term.

Joey Tai sex and relationship counsellingAuthor: Joey Tai, BA (Psych) Hons, Master of Clinical Psychology.

Joey Tai is a Clinical Psychologist, specialising in couples counselling. Sessions with him are open and warm – he believes that one of the keys to success in therapy is feeling comfortable with the therapist.

Please call 1800 877 924 to make an appointment or book Joey Tai online today.