Common Sexual Problems

common sexual problemsSex therapy can help with a wide range of sexual issues and concerns. Here are some of the common sexual problems discussed with a sex therapist:

Low Desire

This is a very common problem with couples that have left the honeymoon stage of their relationship.

Often the mundane day-to-day challenges of juggling work, family and household demands make desiring your partner more difficult. It is much easier to desire a partner early in a dating relationship because they are not involved in your daily decisions, nor do they see you when you are ill, and they are not concerned about your future, career or finances.e

It is easy to focus on the physical attraction while dining out, and going to social events more frequently.

Improving desire often involves exploring what you found helped improve desire when you started dating and it can help to include those sorts of events into your weekly schedule. Or, take a few minutes to read our article on “Spicing up your Sex Life“.

Timing of Orgasm

With so many billboards promoting longer lasting sex, we have changed our beliefs on what is normal for men and women.

Men tend to have a quicker response to sexual arousal than women. This results in more men seeking help with premature ejaculation and women seeking help for arousal issues, or inability to climax during intercourse.

Different strategies can be used for individuals who need to last longer and those that need to climax sooner. Usually behavioural strategies that improve timing can help when the couple works at this together.

Medication Use

Some medications can have a detrimental side effect on sexual arousal.  If you think it is a medication that causes the problem, then problem solving involving your therapist and GP may improve your situation and improve your health.

Chronic Illness

There are many physical conditions that can interfere with sexual performance, so a check up with your GP is recommended to rule out a physical cause to the sexual problem. Some illnesses leave individuals with less stamina, or they may experience pain during intercourse.

Counselling with a sex therapist can help with learning to accept the new limitations, and problem solving can increase the range of intimate activities a couple might enjoy despite illness or injury.

sex therapists and GPs can work with you to help solve common sexual problemsAge

Younger couples and older couples can experience very different problems associated with their age.

Younger couples are often anxious around performance and have new partners that may demand sexual activities that they do not find pleasurable. Anxiety can be easily reduced with cognitive or relaxation strategies.

Older couples may experience more health related difficulties. Often new positions, hormonal treatments and development of physical strength (i.e. pelvic floor exercises) can help.


Affairs happen in relationships for many reasons. One or both individuals may not be faithful and this creates distrust.

There are many issues that arise from affairs: sexual health and STDs, pregnancy, to whom to disclose the affair, whether to stay or leave the long term relationship, children in either or both relationships and future relationships.

All these issues can be discussed in counselling and often individuals find that confidentiality and having an objective outside person can help a great deal to sort emotions and distress, when making a decision about which relationship to end.


Physical or emotional pain can occur during sex for different reasons (such as vaginismus) and your sex therapist can talk through the causes and help with relaxation strategies, as well as recommend exercises to reduce pain, and liaise with your GP or gynaecologist to resolve pain issues.

We have sex therapists experienced in helping women with pain and discomfort after childbirth or sexual trauma.


Sometimes individuals can become obsessed with objects, body parts or habits that are unhelpful in light of the other partner’s needs. A skilled sex therapist can help you to discuss ways you can ensure a mutually satisfying sex life.

While there are many common sexual problems, the good news is that there are many solutions that can help.

To book an appointment with one of our qualified, experienced and confidential therapists,  freecall 1800 877 924.